Liam Neeson puts his VIZIO sound bar and wireless sub on his mantle. He looks away for one moment and they're gone. The phone rings.

"If you don't pay a ransom of $40,000,000,000 you'll never see your sound bar and wireless sub again," a voice says.

"That's a lot of zeroes," says Liam Neeson, who portrayed Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars Episode I. "Do you know how many?"

A pause.

"How many what?" asks the voice.

"Zeroes," says the star of Michael Collins.

"Ten, I think," says the voice.

"That was your first mistake," whisper-sneers Neeson, who was ranked among the 100 Sexiest Stars in Film History by Empire magazine.

"How was that a mistake?" asks the confused voice.

"Asking that was your second mistake," assures the calm Irish actor whose turn as Oskar Schindler in Schindler's List coincidentally earned him an Oscar nomination. He opens a gold box that holds his Oscar-nominated gun.

"Never mind, you can have your stuff back, it's in your hall closet," says the voice.

"It's too late for that," threatens the actor whose first role was in 1978's Pilgrim's Progress. Neeson opens fire on the grand piano in his parlor.

"I knew I should've had that piano tuned," quips the star who appeared in Clash of the Titans, The A-Team, and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader in the same year.

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