Before joining the prestigious Sound Bar Association, each hopeful must first pass a rigorous test.

SOUND BAR EXAMINATION

QUESTION #1
Defendant hires you to defend her in a civil suit where Plaintiff alleges that the audio at a "movie night" hosted by Defendant was so poor that it "jarred Plaintiff from the sustained fictive dream necessary for an optimal cinematic experience" and "made suspension of disbelief impossible". For Defendant's negligence in procuring a decent home-theater speaker system with at least 40W of power, Plaintiff seeks damages equal to the cost of such a system. Can you believe you went to law school for this?

QUESTION #2
Paul and Chad-Michael are roommates. When Chad-Michael lost his job hosting vodka-tasting events, he was unable to pay the rent for en entire month. Without his knowledge or consent, Paul took possession of Chad-Michael's home-theater setup, including his Sharp HTSB20 Soundbar, and sold it to apply the proceeds to Chad-Michael's share of the rent. Chad-Michael then published some intimate photos of Paul and his girlfriend to various social media networks - photos taken secretly without either Paul or his girlfriend's consent. Shouldn't Paul have expected something like this from a guy with an obvious douchebag name like "Chad-Michael"?

QUESTION #3
Reliable Performance Electronics Co. advertised an inexpensive, cheaply produced model of speakers with the claim "Performs better than the Sharp Soundbar in laboratory tests!" A dissatisfied customer disputed this and asked for documentation of these laboratory tests. The company told him the location of the laboratory was "Awesometown USA" and the lead tester was "Your Mom". The dissatisfied customer later received $3,800 in unexplained charges on the same credit card he used to buy the speakers. Wouldn't you feel like an idiot for buying this cheap offbrand speaker instead of a trusted brand like Sharp?

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