cruzer


quality posts: 0 Private Messages cruzer

here's another song for ya Wink

You'll get chills
all through your body
and you'll lose
all control
of your bladder
and your sphincter
thats your butthole

Cause, if you use toad
then I'm tellin you
you can kiss your life goodbye

Yeah when you use toad
it'll mess you up
It'll make your mama cry
thats no lie
you'll choke on your tongue and die

Gotta give it up
(gotta give up the toad now)
its no joke
buddy give it up
(you gotta give up the toad now)
or you'll croak
buddy give it up
(gotta give up the toad now)
and dont smoke
or you'll see
it hurts to pee

There'll be blood
gushing from you
everytime that you cough
and forget getting lucky
it falls off

So you better wise up
cause I'm tellin you
toad is one lando forbids

Gotta give it all up
or your gonna see
your whole life will hit the skids
and your kids
will be born without eyelids

Gotta give it up
(give up the toad now)
(thanks to you)
just give it up
(give up the toad now)
(thanks to you)
give it up
(give up the toad now)

I'm no fool
Landos cool
YEAH!

cerealkiller_001


quality posts: 0 Private Messages cerealkiller_001

Here's my contribution to this forum, I found it this morning while reading the Seattle Times. I don't know if I'm allowed to repost it here, but it's a fun story and I don't think anyone will get hurt over it.

Diners have sweet surprise for soldier, girlfriend

By Susan Gilmore
Seattle Times staff reporter

When Chris Yanez wanted to take his girlfriend out for a special dinner to celebrate their one-year anniversary, he chose the venerable restaurant Canlis, perched high above Lake Union.

Yanez, a soldier returning from Iraq, knew the dinner would be pricey. What he didn't expect is that it would be free. And he also didn't expect that when he walked out, the place would be in tears.

Before going to dinner Wednesday night, Yanez, a reservist who spent a year in Iraq as a machine-gunner, put on his green dress Army uniform, the one he was proud to wear. With his girlfriend, Liz Coleman, on his arm, he walked into Canlis, where owner Mark Canlis found the couple a special table with a panoramic view of the lake and the city.

"I was a captain in the Air Force, so I have a soft spot there," Canlis said.

A few minutes later, a man at a nearby table — who wanted to remain anonymous — walked up to the restaurant owner. "I was noticing the young soldier and saw them looking at the menu," he told Canlis. "I know he was looking at prices and I know this is a special thing, so I would like to take care of part of their bill."

Then another family, the Greenbergs, said they, too, wanted to help pay for the meal. By the end of the night several patrons had, unknown to Yanez, offered to pay for the young couple's meal. With Canlis also sharing the costs, the $150 bill evaporated.

Yanez and Coleman were sharing a peach-cobbler dessert when Canlis walked up with a piece of molten chocolate lava cake.

"There's folks in this restaurant who don't think you should have to share a dessert," Canlis told the couple. "And they don't think you should pay the bill."

Coleman burst into in tears. Tana Greenberg, whose family helped pay the bill, said she, like several other patrons, was wiping her eyes.

"This brought out the patriotism in all of us," she said. "It was just the right thing to do. We're sending our kids over there and they're dying to uphold our beliefs. We just said this couple should not have to buy their meals. It was showing our belief in the uniform and what it stands for."

Yanez, 20, a student from Renton, said he was stunned by the gesture.

"I knew Canlis was expensive, but this is a one-of-a-kind restaurant and this was a special occasion," he said. "It was the greatest thing ever. It makes me feel like people appreciate the troops and they care about people in the community. I was in shock and my girlfriend started to cry. It was really emotional."

Canlis said his grandfather, who spent 39 years in the Marines, once told him that he should never let a soldier in uniform into his restaurant without being taken care of.

He said it's not the first time in recent months that returning troops have been honored at Canlis. Several months ago a man came in with his wife to treat her to a special dinner to make up for the two years he had spent in Iraq. The entire Canlis crew decided to pay the bill.

"That's what makes it fun for us," Canlis said, "being able to take care of people in a special way."

holmesdog


quality posts: 0 Private Messages holmesdog

This is from the tennessean today. Quite the contrast from the story above. People are entitled to their opinions and may protest what they wish, however there's a time and place for everything. I wish these grieving families could be spared the spectacle as they lay their beloved sons to rest.


Families decry church protests at Midstate soldiers' funerals

Anti-gay sect says deaths show God's wrath

By JEANNINE F. HUNTER
Staff Writer


Members of a virulently anti-gay Kansas church plan to demonstrate outside two Midstate National Guard funerals tomorrow, an action that has the military community incensed.

The two guardsmen killed last week in Iraq from the 278th Regimental Combat Team were Sgt. Gary L. Reese Jr. of Ashland City and Staff Sgt. Asbury F. Hawn Jr. of Lebanon.

Members of Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan. — which has the Web site godhatesfags.com — plan to picket outside the services.

The church was established 50 years ago by the Rev. Fred Phelps, whose followers say America has been co-opted by gays, and God's wrath is therefore rightfully killing soldiers.

"Honestly, I think it's disrespectful," said Reese's father, Gary Reese. "The irony is my son lost his life trying to spread the freedom that grants these people the right to do this. I don't appreciate it, and I certainly don't support it."

This summer, the unaffiliated church group has picketed funerals of troops killed in the war across the country, at places including Arlington National Cemetery.

Before the military protests started, the group picketed AIDS patient funerals and the funerals of newsmakers such as U.S. Sen. Albert Gore Sr. and singer-turned-politician Sonny Bono.

The church consists largely of Phelps' children, grandchildren and in-laws. It also has protested conservative organizations such as Bob Jones University in South Carolina for not fully embracing his message.

Shirley Phelps-Roper, the church's lawyer and Phelps' daughter, said the military funeral protests are to draw attention to how America has transgressed.

"This nation is being punished," Phelps-Roper said Tuesday in a telephone interview. "Our job is to make America know her abomination. So we have to be timely and we have to be topical. We have to help America connect the dots. In the last two months, we have been running all over this nation. About 60 people do these pickets and we have six pickets in Topeka every day."

The church's literature promoting the event contains phrases such as, "They turned America over to fags; they're coming home in body bags."

Reese said the purpose of the protest remains unclear to him, but he has peace of mind knowing that his only child believed in the mission in Iraq.

"He was home over the Fourth of July and we talked about it and he was very comfortable about what we're trying to do over there," Reese said. "He felt it was the right thing to do."

Enraged is how Virginia Stephens of Rockvale described her feelings when she heard that the group planned to protest outside Hawn's funeral.

Hawn was in the same troop as her husband, Wayman Stephens, who remains in Iraq. Hawn and Reese died after a rocket-propelled grenade hit their Humvee.

"These are real people who are calling themselves Christian who are going to do this?" she asked. "That is amazing to me."

Ashland City Police Chief Curtis Bennett is baffled, too.

"I am a veteran, 21 years from the service and retired, and my deputy chief, he's a veteran," said Bennett, who served in the Air Force. "These people, activists, try to use so much stuff against people for no reason whatsoever."

He said he told the protesters, " 'This is a small town and the parents have lost a loved one and all they want is peace and quiet and to bury their son and to get on with their life.' "

He anticipates neither any problems nor staged counterprotests.

The recent spate of military funerals also has led Stephens to make road trips.

"I go to all the funerals that are public to attend, funerals for people I have never met," said the former police officer. "It's honor and it's respect. These people have done something that can't be replaced. These men don't want to die. These families don't want to bury their husbands and sons. What this country has lost sight of is that this is one nation under God. God says love thy brother, not wish them dead." •

cruzer


quality posts: 0 Private Messages cruzer
The church was established 50 years ago by the Rev. Fred Phelps, whose followers say America has been co-opted by gays, and God's wrath is therefore rightfully killing soldiers.



now that is some sideways thinking there.

Turken


quality posts: 5 Private Messages Turken
 holmesdog wrote:
This is from the tennessean today. Quite the contrast from the story above. People are entitled to their opinions and may protest what they wish, however there's a time and place for everything. I wish these grieving families could be spared the spectacle as they lay their beloved sons to rest.


Families decry church protests at Midstate soldiers' funerals

<snip>



Just great... old fred's at it again. I went to school at the university of kansas, where he and his groupies did stuff like this all the time. As a "bible-thumping" christian, I don't agree with homosexuality either, but I do know that the Phelps family is going about thing the wrong way. They seem to have forgotten the whole idea of "love the sinner, but not the sin" And now they just go around garnering media attention and give ALL Christans a bad reputatuion.


Zack2


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Zack2
 Turken wrote:


Just great... old fred's at it again. I went to school at the university of kansas, where he and his groupies did stuff like this all the time. As a "bible-thumping" christian, I don't agree with homosexuality either, but I do know that the Phelps family is going about thing the wrong way. They seem to have forgotten the whole idea of "love the sinner, but not the sin" And now they just go around garnering media attention and give ALL Christans a bad reputatuion.



Nothing to say, but, AMEN....

holmesdog


quality posts: 0 Private Messages holmesdog

Word has spread through the military community here. There are plans for folks to gather along the way and drown out the protestors.

Snookered


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Snookered

THEY'RE MADE OUT OF MEAT

by Terry Bisson

"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So ... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat."

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

the end

acemom


quality posts: 0 Private Messages acemom

LMAO!!!!

If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?



holmesdog


quality posts: 0 Private Messages holmesdog

ODE TO "I'm just gettin' on for a MINUTE"

1996, by K. Weston

I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
Just on line for a second, and popped in to "chat".

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
I think I remember...yeah, I used to have SEX!
I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
Tho' it causes the neighborhood children to stare.

I wanted to travel around on the Net,
Been too busy chatting to get on there yet.
I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
But gettin' on with them is just what I ain't!

So much to learn and I wanted to but
I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
Talkin' and listenin'...is it such a sin?
Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

Then up pops a name on my neat Buddy List,
Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
And in comes an IM from some weirdo guy
I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye bye".

Is there a 12 step, support group, or such?
For those of us folks who chat on too much?
If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
Except that it prob'ly would be here online!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some
Its got me, its got me, its power is AWESOME.
It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
Now I look in the mirror and I see a "geek".

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
Please help me, please help me, please get me offline!
Or better, please Email a burger and fries,
'Cause I'm staying ONLINE, at least 'til I die!!!

Woody1


quality posts: 30 Private Messages Woody1
 holmesdog wrote:
ODE TO "I'm just gettin' on for a MINUTE"

1996, by K. Weston

I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
Just on line for a second, and popped in to "chat".

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
I think I remember...yeah, I used to have SEX!
I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
Tho' it causes the neighborhood children to stare.

I wanted to travel around on the Net,
Been too busy chatting to get on there yet.
I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
But gettin' on with them is just what I ain't!

So much to learn and I wanted to but
I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
Talkin' and listenin'...is it such a sin?
Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

Then up pops a name on my neat Buddy List,
Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
And in comes an IM from some weirdo guy
I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye bye".

Is there a 12 step, support group, or such?
For those of us folks who chat on too much?
If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
Except that it prob'ly would be here online!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some
Its got me, its got me, its power is AWESOME.
It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
Now I look in the mirror and I see a "geek".

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
Please help me, please help me, please get me offline!
Or better, please Email a burger and fries,
'Cause I'm staying ONLINE, at least 'til I die!!!



WOW! summed up my life in a few minutes. I'm going to tell my on-line therapist I'm cured as soon as I check my email.
LMAO!

900+ woots! - Talk to the Square or don't

gimmaroon


quality posts: 7 Private Messages gimmaroon

Volunteer Moderator

Nothing in this thread yet on Katrina?! Woody, you're sleeping on the job, buddy.


It's a 5+...off the scale and slow moving, which means MORE water in the soupbowl that is N.O., w/ nowhere to drain. Levees will have to be torn down and the city could be submerged for a month, at best. (Pray for the winds to die down and the hurri to hurry up...hehe, I made a funny, bad, but ...o, nevermind, lol) This has the power of Camille and the size of Betsy, the worst of both.

N.O. could potentially be like a Third World country, w/ disease not seen in the country in ages. There's a reason we bury our dead above ground. It's absolutely unimaginable. Think it won't effect you, ha! Welcome to $5.00+ gasoline and skyrocketing oil prices.folks.

Woody, I've been e-mailing snookered, but no response, so hopefully he's evaced. I don't know where my famly is, except my dad, who was able to get out. Prayers for all in, or w/ family and friends in SE Louisiana and the Miss. Gulf coast...and the whole damn SE.

*******************************************
Want crap? Got crap? Go swap crap:
WootSwap.com, since 2005.


BC4L, but my wootjuice is eggplant.

Turken


quality posts: 5 Private Messages Turken
 gimmaroon wrote:

Woody, I've been e-mailing snookered, but no response, so hopefully he's evaced.



Snookered left a message a day or so ago in the microwave contest thread stating that he was evacuating to texas, so he should be safe. Now we just hope that all goes well for everyone else we know down there.


Snookered


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Snookered

We made ti to Texas in about 6.5 hours. Usually only takes 5.
Can't get to my email so we'll do the best we can to keep in touch.
Let's hope all those who didn't leave survive. It looks bad.

gimmaroon


quality posts: 7 Private Messages gimmaroon

Volunteer Moderator

Oh yea! Glad ya' posted!

My dad's in Houston, but not sure where the rest of the family went. ..and yeah, this is gonna be worse than bad...

*******************************************
Want crap? Got crap? Go swap crap:
WootSwap.com, since 2005.


BC4L, but my wootjuice is eggplant.

Woody1


quality posts: 30 Private Messages Woody1
 gimmaroon wrote:
Oh yea! Glad ya' posted!

My dad's in Houston, but not sure where the rest of the family went. ..and yeah, this is gonna be worse than bad...



FYI - the first page ot this forum has a weather map that automatically updates every few minutes for the gulf/houston/dallas area. Check out Katrinasty right now. Hope all are well.

900+ woots! - Talk to the Square or don't

Snookered


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Snookered

we're keeping an eye on the weather as much as possible. The way things
look now, Texas may be our new home. Can't get thru to anybody in NOLA.
Gimma, Woody and anyone can use the emaill tab to send to my Yahoo
account. Still can't get to my regular email.
Gotta go find some phone numbers now.
Say a prayer for all those still in hurricanes path.

holmesdog


quality posts: 0 Private Messages holmesdog
 Snookered wrote:
we're keeping an eye on the weather as much as possible. The way things
look now, Texas may be our new home. Can't get thru to anybody in NOLA.
Gimma, Woody and anyone can use the emaill tab to send to my Yahoo
account. Still can't get to my regular email.
Gotta go find some phone numbers now.
Say a prayer for all those still in hurricanes path.



There is truly power in prayer and my prayers are with you and everyone touched by the hurricane.

Hope everything's ok when you make your way back home.

holmesdog


quality posts: 0 Private Messages holmesdog

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

Snookered


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Snookered
 holmesdog wrote:


There is truly power in prayer and my prayers are with you and everyone touched by the hurricane.

Hope everything's ok when you make your way back home.


Thanks, holmes. You're a good dog. ;)

Snookered


quality posts: 0 Private Messages Snookered

Woody1 and Jason Toon, please check your PMs

gimmaroon


quality posts: 7 Private Messages gimmaroon

Volunteer Moderator

 Snookered wrote:
Woody1 and Jason Toon, please check your PMs



Got your e-mail and replied to the your yahoo addy.

*******************************************
Want crap? Got crap? Go swap crap:
WootSwap.com, since 2005.


BC4L, but my wootjuice is eggplant.

GAT1998


quality posts: 0 Private Messages GAT1998

Is there any place where i can dispatch my services package about Nepal travel?