Back by lack of demand, we present The History Of The Camera. WARNING: It may be so awesome as to render your face blown off.
The camera was born in 1682 to Zachariah and Shawntina Camera. They were very happy. And then the Great Flood of 1683 happened and everything was carried out to sea. The little Camera was adrift for 43 weeks until it was discovered by a passing whale, who raised the Camera as one of its own pod. When the whale felt the Camera was old enough to set out on its own, it put the Camera into a rocket and shot it into space.
The little Camera roamed around the universe for a while but got sucked into a black hole. It seemed all was lost for our little protagonist until it was ejected back into reality right into Abraham Lincoln's morning teacup. "How strange," Lincoln reportedly said and instantly took the world's first selfie. He adopted the Camera as his own son and daughter, taking it to the battle against the brown dragon of Illinois. After slaughtering the dragon and building a boat out of its remains, Lincoln misplaced the Camera on a horse heading out of town. The Camera ended up in Las Vegas where it invented gambling.
After a few successful years in the human misery business, the Camera won a trip to Switzerland and found itself at a patent office. The Camera quietly patented itself and the rest, as they say, "is historical drama." They said that.