Here are some new shows you can watch on your Hisense HDTV:
It's A Boat -- Detective Hutch Cabbageland has only 24 hours to get inside the mind of a boat before he has to take the It's A Boat test at the precinct, which will determine if he can properly make the distinction between a boat and literally anything else. But with a hidden past that involves severe blindness to boats, will Hutch be able to overcome his debilitating shortcoming and stay on the force? *SPOILER* No he won't. Starring Danny Glover as a boat.
Blood Dance -- Sunnyvale High School is no place for lazy bums! But when the 54th Annual Blood Dance Competition comes to town, even the amped up Sunnyvale Hotsteppers need to hot-step up their game! Watch Bunny, Tommy, Tammy, Jinny, Jammy, Sammy, Winnie, Spiggy, Cancy, Drimmy, and Goob in the craziest outfits, the killinest moves, and so so so SO SO SO SO much blood! Like, SO MUCH blood. Obscene amounts of red red blood just all over everything. I mean, seriously, WARNING: gallons and gallons of blood every five minutes. Just wow. Blood. Go Hotsteppers!
Tedisonsla -- What if, instead of being bitter rivals, Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison had not only joined forces but became a single being? The ideas of Tesla and the business savvy of Edison rolled into one entity! Unfortunately, the merging process turns them into a mutant stoat. Catholic monarchs begin hunting them down in hopes of turning them into a mozetta cape. Soundtrack by a pile of burning marshmallows.